Why I Love the English Language

The English Language is one of the greatest expiratory oral exhibitions of sound ever to be created. President Clinton would disagree, he likes a repeating but consistent squashing sound coming from the muffled mouth of a fat chick, this oddly sounds similar to a leaky washing machine that rats of chewed the back end, making occasionally shutter. But enough of the overly extended metaphor (I was referring to Clinton getting a blow job in the oval office). The English language is great for the one reason that is officially not an inflective tongue, yet we have words that sound the same yet mean completely different things such as:

"Blow" as in "Man, Johnny got some damn fine blow in Hide Park last night"

This word is different but equally criminal in nature here "Saw Johnny at the corner last night. He was giving blow to buy more blows"

I love English. You can call America an imperialist asshole nation full of fat cheeto munching morons mooning the rest of the world, but remember this, when you come to America you will encounter a melting pot of assholes. Better understand what the hell is going on. Hell none of you probably have gotten this far and if you have, you need therapy bad. But anyway the English Language needs to be preserved. Sure language continually evolves, eventually changing into something unrecognizable from its original form, but evolution involves progress. What if we as a species had discovered fire, created the wheel, and created alcohol, all of these things contributing to the eventual urbanization of society, and to the we blew by incorporating all these things into one irresponsible activity at once?  Well, Ted Kennedy did it, but you get the flipping point. The point is don't give me these abbreviations for texts are part of the inevitable extension of language. I'll tell you one thing; this fancy talk of me may lead to the inevitable extension of some illiterate jocks fist into my totally pretentious face. The point is we must save language every time and individuals vocabulary does not expand, but either stays where it is and often shrinks, well that is verbal sodomy. Don't get me wrong sure it may be fun, but for fuck sake just do it once or twice, not all the time!