The Trouble With Libyia

Libya is just the latest country in the geographic aneurysm known as "the middle-east". It's a cluster-fuck of chaos. Not only does the country lay in the heart of the Sahara Desert, where sandstorms blow harder and more Violently than Charlie Sheen on a Saturday night, but it is also the Shelbyville of the world. It's that shitty knock off of the majestic history changing bread-basket of the ancient world, Egypt. They didn't even make an attempt at pyramids. Morons. Why is Libya rebelling now? Well for two fundamental reasons. The first I have just said, Libya is the jealous, unimpressive neighbor to Egypt. To make another vague, arcane pop culture reference they are they are the Sindbad character to Arnold Schwarzenegger(Egypt, respectfully) in "Jingle All the Way". The second reason goes as follows. Colonel Gaddafi is in such a rut and made such a complete mess of things because that stupid fez is cutting off the blood circulation from his brain. These two aspects form the hammer and anvil tactic towards the self implosion of an already unimpressive, irrelevant at best country in the world. They are only rebelling now because Egypt did. If Egypt jumped off a cliff, Libya would do the same. Well, they would probably try but just before the final leap would trip and hurt themselves, skinning their knees in the attempt. They are in essence "The Biggest Looser", only unlike reality television but like reality, they are a bulimic pathetic sad sack who long ago already ate and vomited away what little potential they had.